Not Until Us (Hope Springs Book 4) Read online

  Jade lifted her head and raised an eyebrow. “Like you?”

  “I’m not scared of you.” Which wasn’t entirely true, but why make a bad situation worse?

  But Jade shook her head, her eyes right on his. “I mean, like you. Are there guys like you who want to go out with me?”

  Dan couldn’t free his gaze from hers. “Yeah. Sure. I’m sure there are plenty of guys like me who want to go out with you.”

  He finally managed to break the stare she’d had him trapped in and paged through his book.

  Jade sighed. “You don’t get it.”

  His first instinct was to ignore her. But she was so different today. So clearly hurting.

  He closed the book and gave her his full attention. “What don’t I get?”

  She bit her lip, almost as if she were nervous. He threw a glance over his shoulder to make sure Brett hadn’t come back to harass her. But there were only a few other students in the room, and none of them were paying attention to his conversation with Jade.

  “I mean like you. Do you want to date me?”

  Dan had to grab at the table to keep from falling off his lab stool. When she’d said she might surprise him, he definitely hadn’t expected that.

  “Well, I mean, I―” Why wasn’t the bell ringing?

  She didn’t really expect him to answer that, did she? It was a hypothetical question, right?

  Jade’s face slid back into its typical hostile expression. “See? That’s what I mean.” She turned away but not before Dan read the hurt in her eyes.

  He drew in a breath, as if he could suck courage straight from the air. This whole thing was likely a trap to make him look like a fool.

  “Yeah, I’d go out with you.” He forced himself to keep his eyes on her, so he caught the moment the creases in her forehead eased.

  “But I’m pretty sure a girl like you wouldn’t want to go out with me.” There was no way she was serious about this. The two of them couldn’t be more opposite.

  “Try me.”

  “Try you, what?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Try asking me out.”

  Don’t do it. It’s a trap.

  But the words had come out anyway. “Would you like to go to a movie with me Friday night?”

  Jade’s reply had been immediate. “No.”

  Told you.

  “But I would like to hang out with you at the beach.”

  “At the beach?” Dan’s mind had barely been able to comprehend what was happening. Had he just made a date with Jade Falter?

  She’d given him what may have been the first genuine smile he’d ever seen from her. “The beach.”

  Another jab in his side brought Dan back to the present.

  “Sorry about that.” Leah leaned forward, extending her leg between Dan and Jade as she stood so that Dan had no choice but to scoot closer to Grace. “I’m going to grab some popcorn. Anyone else want some?”

  Dan frowned at Leah as Jade shook her head. Leah offered him an innocent smile and dropped a hand onto his shoulder, subtly pushing him away from Jade and toward Grace.

  As he turned back to the fireworks, he saw that Jade had widened the distance between them even more. On his other side, Grace slid closer and sent him a sweet smile. It didn’t make his heart flip the way Jade’s smile did. But maybe sweet smiles—ones that didn’t raise fireworks in his heart—were safer.

  He returned her smile and clasped his hands in his lap, telling himself he could be happy in a world without fireworks.

  Chapter 5

  Jade stretched, the half-filled air mattress Violet had set up on her bedroom floor creaking beneath her. But she couldn’t convince herself to get up.

  Last night had only been a bad dream, hadn’t it? A nightmare that she’d come face-to-face with the one man she’d ever had feelings for, and he was with another woman. A woman who looked exactly like the kind of wholesome, virtuous woman he should be with.

  She peeled her back off the mattress and swung her legs over the side.

  You had your chance. What she needed was a stern talking to. And you messed it up.

  The same way she always did.

  It was just, did he have to look so good? Like good good. The once lanky and somewhat gangly teen had filled out into a broad-shouldered yet trim man. But his smile. That was the same as always. Still warm and easy—though maybe a bit guarded with her. Not that she blamed him for that.

  And his smell. She’d had to stop herself from leaning closer to soak up the light, sporty scent she’d recognized from high school.

  It had made her think of that first night they’d hung out at the beach. They’d spent hours together, first walking, then settling into a cozy spot in the sand between two dunes.

  That night was the first time Jade had ever felt like the guy she was with was listening to her with his full attention, not nodding along while wondering how long it would be before she’d stop talking and he could feel her up.

  In fact, Dan kept a healthy couple of feet between them all night. Even when she moved closer, complaining of the chill, he pulled off his sweater and passed it to her but didn’t make a move toward her. At first, she found it strange. Maybe he wasn’t attracted to her. But then she’d realized he was being respectful.

  The realization had filled her in a way she’d never expected. It had made her feel precious and protected.

  It was a feeling she hadn’t experienced again in the eight years since she’d left Hope Springs. She shook herself out of the memories and stood. She didn’t need to feel precious and protected. She needed to be strong and independent.

  She was strong and independent.

  The bedroom door opened a crack, and Vi poked her head through slowly. “Oh, good, you’re up. I didn’t want to wake you since you had a long day yesterday. But if you’re up for it, I’ll be leaving for church in about an hour.”

  Jade startled. Was today Sunday? Despite Keira’s constant nagging, Jade hadn’t set foot in a church in eight years.

  But for some reason, the idea of going to Hope Church appealed to her today.

  Maybe it was the nostalgia of being home.

  Maybe it was guilt for all the things that had driven her from Hope Springs in the first place.

  Or maybe it was the desire to see a certain dark-eyed preacher—even though she knew how much it would hurt.

  At any rate, she could tell by Vi’s hopeful expression that nothing would make her sister happier than Jade agreeing to go to church with her.

  “Let me just grab a quick shower.”

  The light in Vi’s eyes chased away any lingering doubts. Jade had a lot to make up to her sister.

  Someone knocked on the apartment door, and Vi broke into a huge smile. “That’s Nate. He always comes over for breakfast before church. He’ll have to eat right away, so he can get to church to warm up the band, but we’ll save you some pancakes if you want to shower first.”

  Jade eyed her sister. She and her fiancé had the oddest living arrangements Jade had ever heard of, living in apartments across the hall from each other, even though Vi had told her they’d closed on a house they planned to move into after the wedding.

  “Wouldn’t it be easier if you two moved in together right away? Your wedding is in a couple months, anyway.”

  Vi hit Jade with a penetrating gaze that made her squirm. “Easier isn’t always right. We want to honor God with every part of our marriage. Living together now would open the possibility for too many temptations.”

  Jade rolled her eyes. That was so old-fashioned. Didn’t her sister know that times changed? She shoved aside the twinge of conscience that said her own life hadn’t exactly been God-honoring and padded down the hall to get ready for church.

  The low buzz of voices didn’t let up as Jade followed Vi through the lobby of Hope Church. But she felt as if every eye in the building had zeroed in on her. She could practically hear their thoughts:

  Isn’t that Jade Falter?


  What’s she doing here?

  Jade Falter in a church? You’ve got to be kidding me.

  She ducked her head and kept walking.

  Anyone who wasn’t trying to figure out what she was doing in church was probably wondering how she’d turned out so bad when she had such a perfect mother and sister.

  Well, let them wonder.

  Hadn’t she wondered the same thing a thousand times herself?

  Maybe someone here could figure it out. She sure never could.

  Vi passed the pews at the back of the church, where Jade would have preferred to hide out, and stopped at a pew nearly at the front. Several of the people Vi had introduced her to last night were already seated. Jade fiddled with the edges of her cutoff shorts as she eyed Grace in a light floral print dress. Vi gestured for her to enter the pew first, so she slid in and settled next to Grace with a half smile.

  But Grace leaned over and gave her a one-armed hug. “It’s so nice to see you again. I take it you and Dan go back a long time.”

  Jade eyed her warily. “We went to high school together.” Best to leave it at that. No one had known they were seeing each other in high school, so no reason to bring it up now.

  “That’s so neat.” Grace patted her hand as if they were old friends. “I bet y’all have a lot of catching up to do.”

  Jade moved her head noncommittally. She was pretty sure she and Dan wouldn’t be doing any catching up. In fact, he probably wished she’d never come back.

  Not that knowing that kept her stomach from dipping as he stepped to the front of the church and offered his warm smile to everyone seated there. Nor did it keep her from remembering the days when that smile was reserved for her.

  But at least she didn’t long for those days again.

  Much.

  Chapter 6

  “Hidden Cafe?” Dan flipped off the last bank of sanctuary lights and turned to the dozen or so friends waiting for him in the lobby. His eyes automatically went to Jade, standing with Violet and Nate, looking completely uncomfortable and as if she’d rather be far from here.

  “Where else?” Spencer clapped a hand on his back. “Good sermon today, Pastor.”

  “Thanks.” Dan still hadn’t gotten used to being called by that title. For as long as he could remember, that’s what people called his dad. Thankfully, his friends generally called him by his first name—although Spencer preferred to address him as pastor when they were talking church things.

  He followed his friends to the parking lot, where they all got in their own cars for the short drive to the cafe.

  While he waited for everyone else to leave, he loosened his tie and tugged it off, then slipped out of his suit coat.

  Much better.

  If he could get away with preaching in jeans, he’d be perfectly content. But that probably wouldn’t go over very well with his congregation.

  He reached into the backseat to dig for one of the water bottles he kept stocked there. By the time he turned around, only Grace’s car was left, but she appeared to be talking on the phone.

  He debated—should he pull out ahead of her or be a gentleman and wait?

  Before he’d made a decision, she hung up, then looked over and smiled at him. He waved for her to go ahead. But when she tried to start the ignition, the engine only coughed. She tried twice more with no result.

  Dan groaned. Fixing a car wasn’t really on his agenda for today. But he couldn’t leave her stranded here.

  He started his own engine and eased his car into place across from hers. It probably needed a jump start. At least that would only take a couple minutes. He was starving.

  Grace slid out of her car and approached with a sheepish look.

  He closed his car door. “Car trouble?”

  She nodded. “I meant to fill up with gas on my way to church this morning.”

  Dan stared at her. “It’s out of gas?” He resisted the urge to rub his temples. The nearest gas station was across town. And he’d used up the last of the gas in his gas can when he’d mowed the lawn yesterday.

  “Don’t worry about it. Grandpa was doing pretty well this morning. I’ll call him and ask if he can fill up a gas can and bring me some. Y’all go ahead and eat without me.”

  Dan sighed. He couldn’t do that. “Tell you what, why don’t you ride with me to lunch and then afterward we’ll get you some gas and get your car going again.”

  Grace looked uncertain. “You’re sure?”

  A loud growl from his stomach sealed the deal. “I’m sure.”

  Grace’s smile was sweet, and again Dan tried to feel something for her. But it didn’t spark anything.

  “I talked to your friend Jade this morning,” Grace said as he drove out of the parking lot.

  “Yeah?” He hated the way his heart gave that jolt every time he heard her name.

  He thought about correcting Grace and telling her Jade wasn’t his friend. Once upon a time, he’d thought she was more than that. But he’d been wrong.

  He should have realized when she never wanted to be seen with him in public that she wasn’t serious about him. He finally got the message when she left—what she’d claimed to feel for him had never been real. And it never would be.

  “She seemed nice,” Grace continued, and Dan had to bite his tongue to keep from asking if they could talk about something else.

  Anything else.

  “A little aloof, though.” Grace looked at him, as if to confirm whether he agreed.

  He raised a lip. Aloof was putting it mildly.

  “I wonder what happened to make her that way?” Grace tapped a finger to her chin. “Some kind of hurt early in life, I’d bet.”

  When Dan didn’t say anything, she laughed at herself. “Don’t mind me. I’ve been watching way too many daytime talk shows with Grandpa.”

  He laughed too and shifted the conversation to the grandfather Grace had moved here to take care of.

  Unlike Jade, who’d fled from everyone who loved her, Grace had upended her whole life to be there for those she loved.

  If that wasn’t something he should be looking for in a woman, he didn’t know what was.

  So why did his eyes track to Jade the moment they entered the Hidden Cafe?

  You were just looking for the right table. It’s not your fault she’s the first one you saw there.

  Dan wanted to believe his own excuses.

  Violet was on one side of Jade, Leah on the other. The moment his sister noticed him, standing in the doorway with Grace, a ginormous smile tipped her lips.

  Great. Now she was going to assume her matchmaking had worked.

  Dan followed Grace to the table and sat next to her in the only two chairs that were empty. He took a quick survey of the restaurant. It was a popular after-church destination, and he recognized at least six or seven families from his congregation. He waved to them.

  He loved to see the members of his flock out and about, but sometimes he felt like he was always on display. Were they just waiting for him to say or do something that would prove he wasn’t ready to be head pastor?

  He picked up his menu, but his gaze flicked to Jade as he opened it. She was staring intently at her own menu, even though she must have had ten minutes to read it already.

  By the time they’d ordered, she hadn’t glanced toward him once.

  So that was how she wanted to play this? They’d ignore each other?

  That was completely fine with him.

  Better than fine. It was ideal. Now he wouldn’t have to keep rehashing the past—all their moonlit walks on the beach, talking about everything and nothing in their special spot between the dunes, feeling like she knew him better than anyone besides God.

  None of that would have to cloud his mind for even a second.

  Dan gave his attention to a conversation with Grace and Tyler, who were both serving as chaperones on the trip to Camp Oswego in two weeks. By the time his omelet was almost gone, they’d worked out most of the details of
who needed to bring which supplies.

  “Who’s going to watch the boys?” Grace turned to Tyler, whose twin five-year-old boys had gone home with their grandparents after church.

  “Only their coolest aunt and uncle,” Sophie called from the other end of the table.

  Dan smiled. He loved the moments when they all felt like one big happy family. Well, one big happy family, plus Jade now. She hadn’t lost any of the tension Dan had noticed in her face last night. It was as if she expected someone to jump out and ambush her at any moment.

  A heavy hand fell on Dan’s shoulder, and he nearly jumped. Talk about ambush.

  He hadn’t noticed Terrence Malone, president of Hope Church’s board, walking over.

  “Pretty good sermon this morning, Danny. I remember the last time your dad preached on those verses. He had a slightly different take.” He coughed. “But you’re still young. You’ll get there.”

  “Thank you.” Dan forced himself not to grit his teeth. Terrence was only making small talk, not trying to insult him. Since he’d taken over his dad’s role as head pastor, he’d come to recognize that there were two types of people in his congregation, at least when it came to how they saw him: There were those who put him on a pedestal, and those who saw him as a little boy playing church. He wasn’t sure which group he was more afraid of disappointing.

  Terrence patted him on the back. “Your father left some pretty big shoes to fill. But you know that already.” With one more shoulder clap, Terrence left. Across the table, Jade looked from Terrence to Dan. For some reason, it unnerved him that he couldn’t read what she was thinking.

  Next to him, Grace set her napkin on her plate. “I didn’t know your daddy, but I do know you’ll fill his shoes well.”

  Dan nodded, wishing he could be as sure.

  Chapter 7

  Jade clicked on her phone to check the date. It was Friday, which meant she’d been in Hope Springs one day short of a week. Why did it feel so much longer?

  The familiar claustrophobia this town had always given her was creeping up on her already.