Not Until Forever (Hope Springs Book 1) Read online

  Not Until Forever

  -A Hope Springs Novel-

  Valerie M. Bodden

  Not Until Forever © 2019 by Valerie M. Bodden.

  Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

  All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is coincidental.

  Valerie M. Bodden

  Visit me at www.valeriembodden.com

  Books in the Hope Springs Series

  Not Until Christmas

  Not Until Forever

  Not Until This Moment

  Not Until You

  Not Until Us

  Contents

  Books in the Hope Springs Series

  A Gift for You . . .

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  More Hope Springs Books

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  A Gift for You . . .

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  But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.

  —titus 3:4-5

  Prologue

  Five Years Earlier

  Spencer paced behind the park bench, tipping his head toward the gray clouds swirling above him. His nerves swirled faster. He patted at the pocket of his hoodie for the eighth time, letting the solidity of the little box there reassure him. Even if some parts of his life were falling apart right now, this was the one thing he was sure of.

  He squinted toward the parking lot, watching for the flash of Sophie’s bright red Camaro. But the lot was empty, aside from his battered pickup truck, already packed with the few things he needed from his apartment. It was hard to believe he was going to walk away without his degree with less than a semester to go. But this was what he had to do. His family needed him.

  He scrubbed a hand over his face and made himself sit down. He should be on his way already. But he couldn’t leave without doing this. Without telling Sophie what he wanted for the future. Their future.

  Finally, the rumble of the Camaro’s engine caught his ears. Spencer fumbled at his pocket again as Sophie whipped into the parking lot. The wind unfurled her golden hair behind her as she stepped out of the car. Spencer shoved a hand roughly through his own hair and swallowed hard. What had he been thinking, doing this here?

  He should have picked somewhere more romantic. More elegant. More Sophie. But this park had been their place since their first date three years ago. It was where they came to talk, to laugh, to share everything. Doing this here, now, felt right. Spencer forced himself to take a slow breath as Sophie hurried toward him, her strides long and sure in her heels and slim black skirt.

  Just the sight of her lightened his heart. He had no idea what a woman like her saw in a man like him, but he’d learned not to question it. For whatever reason, they worked. And for that, he thanked God.

  Spencer sank his face into her hair as his arms tugged her closer. This was what he’d needed. Whatever he was facing, holding Sophie made everything right in the world.

  She pulled back a few inches and slid her fingers over his unshaven cheek. “You look tired. You sure you want to make the drive back to Hope Springs yet tonight?”

  Not now that he was with her, he didn’t. But he nodded. “I have to, Soph.”

  He’d only been home a couple of days—just long enough to sit with Mom through the worst of the waiting at the hospital. Through the hours of not knowing if Dad would make it.

  Sophie looked away, but not before he caught the flash of disappointment in her eyes. “How’s your dad?”

  Spencer disentangled from her embrace and grabbed her hand, leading her around the muddy patches toward their favorite spot at the edge of the park’s little pond. A family of ducks quacked at them and shuffled out of the way.

  “He’s stable. Should be out of the hospital in a few days, but he’s not going to be back in the orchard anytime soon.” He couldn’t push away the image of Dad’s gray face. His slow movements. How could a heart attack have transformed his powerhouse of a dad so drastically?

  Sophie bit her lip in that way that made it almost impossible to resist kissing her. “It’s just so close to graduation. It seems like a waste to throw away everything you’ve worked for.”

  Spencer sighed. He’d had this argument with himself all the way here. But he couldn’t see any way around it.

  “The work won’t wait, Soph. The seasons keep changing, no matter what’s going on in our lives.” He squeezed her hand. “Anyway, it’s not like if I don’t finish my degree now I can’t ever do it. I have my whole life.” Our whole life. But he was getting ahead of himself.

  “I know.” Sophie offered a half-hearted smile. “I just hate the idea of saying goodbye sooner than we planned.”

  He pulled her to a stop next to the bench they’d spent so many hours on. “Me too. That’s actually why I asked you to come here.”

  He gestured for her to sit, and she did, giving him a curious look as he remained on his feet. He drew in a shaky breath. He’d been so busy thinking about everything else that he hadn’t prepared what to say.

  “There’s something I have to ask you.”

  A wind gust blew her hair in front of her face, and she swept it behind her ear as he dropped to one knee. Hands shaking, he pulled the ring box from his pocket, opened it, and held the small diamond solitaire toward her.

  Sophie gasped, lifting a hand to her mouth. “Spencer, don’t—”

  “Sophie, will you—” Spencer stopped as her words slammed into him. “What?”

  Sophie sprang to her feet and practically leaped over the bench, as if trying to construct a physical barrier between them. “You’re emotional right now. You’re not thinking clearly.”

  Spencer pushed slowly to his feet and moved closer to the bench, reaching for Sophie’s hand across its back. “I’m not doing this because I’m emotional. I already had the ring. I was planning to wait until graduation, but with everything going on, I wanted you to know that I want a future with you.”

  H
e squeezed her hand and tried to pull her around the bench so he could try again and this time do it properly. Leave it to him to screw up the proposal the first time.

  But Sophie pulled out of his grasp and looked past him, toward the pond.

  Spencer’s heart crumbled. She didn’t want to marry him.

  “I’m leaving for Chicago in two months, Spencer. You know I can’t pass up this job offer.”

  He wanted to tell her it didn’t matter. That he’d go with her. Or he’d find her a job that was just as good closer to home. Anything.

  But admitting his need would only lead to more hurt. Would only remind him that he’d never be worthy of her.

  “I’m sorry,” Sophie whispered.

  And then she turned and walked away.

  And he let her.

  Chapter 1

  Five Years Later

  Sophie stepped off the L, deftly dodging the enormous puddles on the sidewalk from last night’s rain so she wouldn’t ruin her new Jimmy Choo heels. She inhaled deeply, trying to catch a hint of spring. But spring in Chicago smelled nothing like spring at home in Hope Springs. There, the season carried the heady scents of ice melt and earth and fruit blossoms. Here, all she could smell were exhaust fumes and the overripe garbage bins that had been set out on the sidewalk for pickup.

  It didn’t matter—she’d likely be inside all day and long into the night anyway. This new development was the biggest deal she’d worked on yet, and with any luck, it was the one that would secure her promotion as the firm’s youngest VP. It didn’t matter how much time she had to spend indoors or how many hours it took. She’d make it happen.

  She pushed through the doors of the sleek glass tower on North Clark and hurried across the lobby, relishing the sharp click of her heels against the polished marble floor. She still couldn’t believe sometimes that she’d landed a position with Heartland, one of the most prestigious development firms in the country.

  “Good morning, Sophie,” the white-haired security guard greeted her as he did every morning.

  “Morning,” Sophie mumbled as she hurried past and jabbed at the elevator’s up button.

  At the twenty-eighth floor, she stepped out into the posh lobby of Heartland and made her way to her office. As always, her eyes were drawn immediately to the breathtaking view of the city and the Lake Michigan shoreline. There was a slight chop on the water today, though the waves winked in the sun.

  Not that she had time to stand here and admire the view. Sophie settled into her leather chair and grabbed the project she’d been working on for two weeks. She leafed through the papers. This was her first project as lead developer, and she had a lot riding on it. But if she could pull off the purchase and development of the combination apartment, shopping, and entertainment complex she’d envisioned . . .

  One step at a time, Sophie. When you get ahead of yourself, you get sloppy. How many times had her mom used that reprimand on her growing up? It seemed to apply to everything from math tests to ballet recitals. Somehow, nothing she did had ever been good enough for her parents.

  She shook herself. She’d never earn her promotion if she focused on the past instead of the task at hand. She pulled out the latest renderings from the architect and dove in.

  An hour later, a rap on her door made her jump.

  “Staff meeting, three minutes.” Her assistant Tina passed her a fresh cup of coffee.

  “Ah, thanks.” Sophie smoothed her hair and shuffled the papers she’d spread across her desk into a neat pile. Then she gathered the whole bunch and hurried to the conference room.

  The firm’s six other developers were already gathered around the room’s large mahogany table. This room was definitely the most intimidating in the office, with its oversize table and chairs that seemed to swallow her, but Sophie kept her chin up as she entered the room and grabbed a seat next to Chase. He gave her a warm smile and a subtle wink.

  She ducked her head to hide her blush. Not that it was a big secret that the two had been casually dating. But Sophie felt awkward when he acted like that at work—especially in front of his father, who also happened to be one of the partners.

  “Glad you could make it, Sophie.” Mr. Davis’s joke barely masked a hard edge of irritation.

  “Sorry, I got caught up in the Hudson project.”

  Mr. Sanders, who’d always been the friendlier of the two partners, turned to her. “How does it look? Everything on track?”

  Sophie patted the folder in front of her. “I think so. But—”

  “Excuse me.” All eyes swiveled to Tina as she poked her head into the room.

  Sophie gestured for her to step back outside. Heartland had a strict policy about interruptions during meetings. As in, you didn’t do it. Ever.

  “I’m sorry.” Tina motioned to Sophie. “You have a phone call. It’s your grandmother.”

  “My grandmother?” She hadn’t talked to Nana in months—and never at work. A slice of fear cut through her. It must be an emergency. Her mouth went dry, but she pushed her chair back and mumbled an apology, not sure if her words were audible.

  Once she was out of the conference room, she sped across the common area to her office.

  She lunged for her phone and snatched it off the desk, hitting the flashing button. “Nana?” The word came out breathless, as if she’d just finished a marathon cardio Pilates session.

  “There’s my Sophie.” Her grandmother’s voice rasped through the phone.

  “Nana, is everything okay? Of course it’s not okay or you wouldn’t be calling me at work in the middle of the day. Is it Mom? Or Dad?” What if it was both of them—a car accident, maybe, on one of the rare occasions they were actually together.

  “I knew you’d make time for me.” Nana’s words sounded garbled, and Sophie felt as if she’d been dropped into the middle of a foreign movie.

  “Make time for you? Nana, what’s the emergency?”

  “I just wanted to hear your voice.”

  Sophie held the phone away from her ear and gave it an incredulous stare. Nana had interrupted her meeting to hear her voice? She rubbed at her temple as she pulled the phone back to her ear. “It’s so good to hear from you, Nana, but I’m actually in the middle of a meeting.” She glanced at the clock above her door. “I’ll call you back in an hour or so, okay?”

  She was met with silence.

  “Nana?”

  “Do me a favor, Sophie.”

  Sophie drummed her fingers on her desk. Now wasn’t the best time for favors. “You got it, Nana. Whatever it is, I’m on it. Just as soon as my meeting is over. I’ll—”

  “Remember that I love you and so does God.” Nana’s voice was getting fainter, as if she was holding the phone too far from her mouth. Sophie strained to hear. “If you remember that, then I’ve done my job. Okay, Sophie?”

  “Okay, Nana.” Sophie didn’t really have time for Nana’s philosophical musings right now. “I have to go. I’ll call you—”

  “That’s okay, Sophie. You don’t have to call back. I just wanted to hear your voice one more time before I go.”

  “Go?” A brainstorm about the Hudson project hit Sophie, and she reached for a pen and a sticky note to jot it down. “Are you taking a trip?”

  Nana was always going somewhere or other.

  “I’m going home, Sophie.”

  “Hmm.” Sophie finished her note. “Where are you now?” Probably the Mediterranean or somewhere in East Asia. She’d probably forgotten the time difference.

  “I’m in the hospital, dear.”

  Sophie dropped her pen and straightened. Nana had been battling cancer for a couple years and had ended up in the hospital more than once in that time. Still, Sophie knew how much she hated being cooped up.

  “But you get to go home soon? That’s good news.”

  “Not that home, dear.” Nana’s voice was overly gentle, like it had been the first time Sophie came to her with a broken heart.

  “What do you mean,
‘not that home’? What other home do you have?” Sophie frowned. She hadn’t noticed any decline in Nana’s mental ability, but much as she hated to face it, Nana was getting older.

  “I mean, I don’t think I’ll see that home again. I’m going to my true home.”

  “True home?” This conversation was making less sense by the minute.

  Nana sighed, and Sophie felt like she’d missed something important, but she couldn’t for the life of her think what it could be.

  “Heaven, dear. I’m going home to heaven.”

  Sophie’s head jerked up as she sat hard in her desk chair. She opened and closed her mouth a few times before she could get any words out. “You don’t know that, Nana. I’m sure you have lots of time left. You—”

  “You can’t argue my way out of this, Sophie.” Nana’s chuckle grated against Sophie’s nerves. How could she deliver news like this and then laugh?

  “How long—?” Sophie swallowed the boulder that had lodged in her throat.

  “A couple of days, the doctors think. Maybe a week.”

  “I’m sorry, Nana.” Her voice was barely a whisper. She fought off the sharp sting gathering behind her eyes. If she didn’t cry, she wouldn’t feel. It was a skill she’d perfected over the years.

  “Don’t you be sorry for me, child.” Nana’s voice was firm. “I know where I’m going. And I got to say goodbye to my Sophie. That’s all I asked. God is good.”

  Sophie chewed her lip. A phone call was no way to say goodbye to the woman who’d been almost a mother to her. Who had loved her unconditionally her whole life, even when her own parents hadn’t.

  “I’ll be on my way in ten minutes. Do you think you could—” Sophie sucked in a breath. “Could you wait for me? Before you—” But she refused to finish that sentence.

  “It’s in God’s hands, dear.”

  It wasn’t the guarantee Sophie had been hoping for, but it would have to do. She hung up and took a minute to steel herself. Then she pushed slowly to her feet and walked to Mr. Sanders’s office, taking a steadying breath before she knocked on his door.